Can you believe this? I spent hours designing that cake for your dog’s birthday! I piped those little paw prints by hand, made sure the frosting matched the collar color, and even tried to make the bone decoration look realistic. And what did I get? A shrug. A shrug! Like I just grabbed some generic sheet cake from the supermarket bakery. Do you know how hard it is to blend that shade of blue without it looking like toothpaste? And don’t get me started on the tiny fondant tennis ball, it took me three tries before it didn’t look like a lumpy lemon. I thought when people say, ‘Wow, this looks paw-some!’ you might at least throw me a crumb of appreciation. But nope, nothing. Honestly, I think the dog was more excited about it than you were, and he doesn’t even understand birthdays!"